“Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.”
Being a mom is hard.
Plain and simply I believe from my core that there is no harder job on this planet than being a mom.
As a parent you are responsible for raising these tiny humans to be responsible adults who contribute to society in a positive way. That is a lot of pressure!
But as a mom… as a mom we are not only faced with the daily challenges of raising our children but then you throw in the “mom guilt” we all face at some point and oh boy… it’s a lot to handle!
As moms we find ourselves questioning our abilities on a regular basis. Am I feeding my kid the healthiest way I know how? Do I spend enough quality time with them? Should I be reading to them more? Do I need to buy organic bubble bath? Should I buy organic everything? Do I say I love you enough? Did I give the right number of hugs today? I swear I read somewhere that I’m supposed to hug like 17 times an hour, right?!
On top of all the “mom stuff” we face, we as women — not just moms — face the inner voice that wonders if we’re doing enough for our marriage, if we are being a good enough friend, if we’re being an attentive daughter to our own parents. The list goes on!
Now let’s add another stick into the fire — what about the women who want to have a career and not have mom be their only title? What about the women who have a calling pulling at their heart strings that makes them want to work outside the household?
When you are in a constant state of question — a constant state of wondering if you are doing “enough,” how do you justify wanting more out of life than just owning your mom skills?
I was fortunate to be blessed with 3 beautiful children who I would literally give my life for. Three kids who make my heart burst with love. Three kids who also test my patience on some days but that I love, and will continue to love, unconditionally.
But for me, having them isn’t enough. Yes I just said that. Having my 3 beautiful blessings isn’t the only fulfillment that I need in my life.
I frequently get asked how I manage to do all that I do. I am an entrepreneur, a speaker who speaks on stages across the US, I’ve authored two books and I have a household to run alongside my husband.
It’s a lot. Some days its almost too much. I’d be lying if I said otherwise!
However, I have found ways to help manage the “juggle struggle” that comes with being a mom who has a passion for her work. Who wants the best of both worlds and wants to maintain her sanity in the meantime.
This is why I’m going to share 7 ways that you can kick ass as a mom and a career woman. There is no reason you cannot have the best of both worlds!
“In order to heal we must first forgive… and sometimes the person we must forgive is ourselves.” ~Mila Bron
How often do you find yourself feeling guilty over your choices?
If you are a woman who has a career she loves who also has kids at home, I’d like you to ask yourself these questions — at the end of the day do your children know that they are loved? Do they feel safe in their environment?
If you can answer yes to those questions, you have nothing to feel guilty about!
There are times that I am traveling for my business where I feel guilty, or even sad, that I’m not home with my kids. When little ones are growing up they seem to learn something new every single day and I definitely don’t want to miss those moments.
But you know what is bigger than that guilt? Bigger than that sadness? It is the fact that I am showing my children that they have a mom who is out there pursuing her dreams. They have a mom who is out there making a positive impact on others’ lives.
While I can sit here and tell you that you should not have a sense of guilt when it comes to pursuing the career of your dreams. That as long as your children feel loved and safe that it’s ok to do what sets your soul on fire. I can say all of these things, But…
I know that you will experience those moments. I know that feeling will creep into your head and heart.
All I am trying to tell you, mama — is that you are setting an example for your children that it is possible to have the best of both worlds. It is possible to pursue your passions and love your family at the same time. And that is powerful.
“Women like you don’t happen often. Never forget about how rare you are.” ~R.H. Sin
While Seventy percent of mothers with children under 18 are participating in the labor force, there is still a gap occurring across the US.
One of the reasons women do not go into the workforce or go for leadership positions is that companies are not always willing to be flexible when it comes to the schedules of women who have small children at home.
Studies have shown that women in leadership roles tend to be transformational leaders — helping teams to be more productive all while providing motivation and individual development. Female leaders tend to be highly engaged in their work all while putting effective communication and teamwork first.
That being said, there is a lot to be left on the table by not encouraging women to not only be part of the workforce but in going for the promotions that put them into top leadership positions.
If you are a woman working for a company that provides opportunity for growth… and you want that opportunity for advancement but are hesitant because of your commitments at home, have a conversation with your employer.
I am begging you — ok maybe not begging as that doesn’t get you anywhere (ask my 5 year old!) — but I’m strongly encouraging you to bring up your needs to your employer.
Explain the value that you know you will bring to the table, but explain that you have to be realistic as to what your commitments are at home.
You have so much to offer so don’t devalue yourself by not striving to move up the proverbial ladder, if that’s what you want.
Understand your worth, know what you have to offer, and don’t let the challenges of raising a family hold you back from achieving what you desire and getting the most out of life.
“Never settle for anything less than your best.” ~Brian Tracy
There is a phrase that I never want associated with my name — and that is that “she settled.”
If you are a women who strives to share your talents with this world, whether it be in the form of entrepreneurship or if you choose a career where you are working for someone else, never settle. Never allow yourself to settle for something mediocre.
“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.”
That is a quote that I have hung on my dream board at home. That I put in the journal I created. That I have by my desk. I look at that quote Every. Single. Day.
You have too much to offer this world to ever settle for anything less than exceptional. I firmly believe every single person was put on this earth with a gift that they should feel obligated to share with the world. But unfortunately not everyone chooses to harness those gifts and act on them.
If you are a mom who loves her kids and her career, or who wants to start navigating her career path, make the promise to yourself that you will never settle. You will never allow mediocrity to become the place that you are comfortable.
Strive to be the best version of yourself every single day so that you are setting that example for those small, impressionable people living in your household. Teach them that they can get whatever they want out of life, as long as they are willing to put in the work.
“Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there.” ~Bo Jackson
Have you ever sat back and looked at women that you respect and admire, women that appear to have it all together, women who appear to be handling their juggle struggle, and wondered how the heck they are accomplishing all that they are accomplishing?
There is one trait that is common among women who manage to balance a bustling career and a family at home — and that is that they set wild, crazy, audacious goals. And then they go after them!
I know women who have built multi-million dollar businesses who are killing it in their professional lives and when they go home they are mastering their “mom-ing” too. They are present for their family — they are present in their career — and they have big goals for both that they are working towards, every day.
When you have goals for your future, and I’m not talking about the goal of just making it through the day, but the big goals, the ones that scare you, it gives you a sense of purpose in the midst of the chaos.
When you are focused on something bigger than yourself, whether it be to make your first million dollars, to buy your dream home, to pay for your kids college educations, to scale your business to 7 figures — when you have big goals for yourself that you commit to, it forces you to become a different, stronger, even better version of yourself.
Take your goal setting a step further and include your kids in this process. Teach them at a young age what it means to dream big. What it means to want so much for your life that every day you wake up excited.
One thing I want to be clear on here is that while goals don’t have to always be about material things or money, there was a statement that has stuck with me that I heard at a mastermind group I participate in called Genius Network.
Joe Polish, founder of Genius Network, stated that “People who say money can’t buy happiness haven’t given enough away.”
Think about that for a moment.
When you are setting wild, crazy, audacious goals, you do not need permission to have them be whatever you want. You don’t have to feel any sort of guilt for wanting more financially in your life. There is freedom in building wealth and if that is one of your goals, by all means go for it!
“Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, mirror what you admire.”
When I think about where I am in my life right now, with three kids under 5 at home, a husband with his own career, and a career that has blessed me in ways I never thought imaginable, I can’t help but think of some of the women who inspired me along the way.
There is a term out there that you’ve likely heard, which is to “fake it til you make it.” Well let’s talk about that.
Before I go any further I want to say that there is only one person you should be competing with in this life, and that person is yourself. Strive to be a better version of yourself every day and that will help you achieve the successes in your life that you strive for.
However, it is also important to surround yourself with people who have achieved what you want to achieve. Who have contributed in a way that you’d like to contribute. Who will push you to be the best version of yourself by simply being around them.
I was at Joe Polish’s Genius Network annual event a couple years ago and Randi Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Zuckerberg media, spoke to the group and talked a bit about her accomplishments.
Now, this woman is an entrepreneur, investor and best-selling author who has a husband and a couple little ones at home, yet she still showed up for Joe’s event with a mountain of energy and passion behind all that she’s accomplished and intends to accomplish in the future.
For me, that is someone to admire. Just when you think your own life is the busiest in the world, you get reminded that there are other women out there, just like you, that are managing their own juggle struggle and owning it like a boss!
Rachel Hollis, who has absolutely blown up in the last year because of her book Girl, Wash your Face, is another one I admire greatly. She has four kids — FOUR KIDS (three sometimes still feels insane to me!)— at home, a husband who she cherishes and a career that has her traveling frequently, yet she’s another that has more energy than a chihuahua on red bull.
While these are a couple examples of women that I admire and follow, there is a takeaway here. The thing that drew me to both of them was their energy. How even when I know they have to be exhausted, they show up and they shine.
That is exactly how I choose to live my life. I choose to show up and shine regardless of how I feel. I choose to exert energy because energy is contagious. I choose to be for other women, what has inspired me over the years.
That is what I want to encourage for you. To take a look at the people you admire and to really look at which qualities they possess that have drawn you to them. Then decide how you can model those qualities in your own behaviors.
It makes me think of the quote “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Be the person now, who you say you want to be in the future!
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” Deepak Chopra
My life is full of chaotic times. There are evenings where I don’t think my daughters stop talking for hours on end. My son isn’t old enough to jump on that bandwagon but Lord help us when he is. Anyone with busy little girls I’m sure knows what I’m talking about here!
There are days where after a long day at work my kids walk into our living room and 10 minutes later it looks like a tornado whipped through or a bomb with toys as shrapnal exploded all over our floor.
There are also times in my business where I have so many opportunities on my plate, so many things going on at once, that I freeze from idea overload.
When chaos strikes you have two choices. You can react to the noise, or you can take a deep breath and soak it all in by focusing on the opportunities that come with disarray.
I used to get so frustrated with the mess my kids created. I am by nature a very organized, very clean, slightly OCD person. I like things to be a certain way and I firmly believe everything has it’s place.
What I quickly learned with my oldest daughter who is now 5, is that reacting in a negative way steals so much of their joy.
Now instead of losing my mind over something so petty, we make a game out of it. We sing the “clean up” song together and we put stuff in the bins that I’ve marked for their toys. (I will never get away from believing everything has it’s place. Some vices just have to be excepted!)
When I have too much on my plate in my business or I am feeling overwhelmed, I have learned to take a step back to re-prioritize. I have learned the tried and true way that if you have more than 3 priorities, you have none. I have learned that deep breathing exercises really do work to came your mind and help to control your state.
Above everything else that I’ve mentioned above in regards to managing your chaos, the one thing, the ONE thing I can recommend, is learning to laugh through it. Learn to laugh at the chaos. Learn to laugh through the craziness.
Learn to laugh when times are toughest because if you can find humor in the worse situations, you will be able to get through it!
“Make sure everyone on your boat is rowing and not drilling holes when you’re not looking.”
When it comes to managing your juggle struggle, you already have a lot to contend with. You are trying to grow your career, to grow your tiny humans into great people, to nurture your marriage or relationships, to maintain and improve your health… there is a lot to juggle.
When you are already navigating your own struggle, there is one quote that I want you to remember:
“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.” ~unkown
If you are surrounded by people that bring you down. People that try to tell you that you “can’t” do something — that your dreams are too big — those are the people you should limit your time with.
One of the hardest decisions a person can be faced with is when those toxic people, the naysayers who bring you down, are in the form of family, a long-time friend or even a spouse.
Everyone on this planet possesses the most valuable resource out there, and that resource is time. Your time is more valuable and precious than anything else in your life. Time is something you can never get back. You can never earn more time. You can never buy more time. So protect it with your life!
Understand that by allowing even one negative person in your life. By allowing even one person to use your time to take your joy, you are creating a detriment to your goals and dreams. You are allowing poison into your life. And you’ve worked too darn hard for that!
If you want to be able to master your own juggle struggle, you need to be aware of who you spend time with and who you allow in your kids’ lives.
As a mom who wants to focus on her career, as a mom who wants to have the best of both worlds, your time is precious. So protect it and spend it with people who will encourage you, support you, and have a genuine care for what’s best for you and your family.
When you make the commitment to yourself that you will have the best of both worlds when it comes to raising a family and growing a bustling career, you will realize that what got you here, won’t always get you there.
You will be faced with decisions in life that are hard. You will be faced with times of question — where you wonder if your efforts are worth it.
On her recent Rise podcast, Rachel Hollis said, “Growth is so good for you but doesn’t always feel good while it’s happening.”
Remember that as you decide to pursue the life of your dreams that there will be challenges, but with the right mindset, the right people behind you, and the biggest of dreams — you can accomplish whatever it is that sets your soul on fire!
If you’d like to start living your dream focused life filled with gratitude and positivity, go here to get your free copy of Imagine. Act. Inspire., as seen on Amazon.com.